Everything Started With The Dream
by Augrey
Summary: Idea's been done; Hogwarts falls to chaos. Sirius is Christian, Dumbledore's from the Matrix and more! Poor Harry's in th middle of it all!What will he do?
1. How It All Began

Disclaimer: All Characters Belong to JK Rowling  
  
A/N: I Don't mean any offense to anyone in this story, especialy Christians. I'm one myself, and believe me, I'm not making fun of you.  
  
Chapter One:  
  
All was normal. At least, for now, that was. Harry, forced to do his homework late at night, lay crouched on his bed, very hot because he was laying under his blankets, in fear that the light of his flashlight would shine into his relatives' rooms.   
  
As sweat rolled down his forehead, he sighed with exasperation, clicked off his flashlight, and threw off his covers. It was remarkably cool for a summer night, and all was still.Tired after a long line of chores he did for the Dursleys, he slumped back into his itchy feather pillows (they were all that were left, since Dudley had taken the remaining 4 silk ones) and closed his eyes. It wasn't long before Harry was enveloped into the dark, dreamy world of sleep.   
  
That night, strangely, he dreamed of red goats. They were grazing in a long, grassy field, and they looked up as Harry approached them. An expression of fear flitted across their woolish faces- then anger. Somehow, Harry knew that they thought that he wanted their wool. He didn't. He tried to tell them this- but they wouldn't listen. They were in rage; they reared their reddish legs, then charged toward Harry, who stood paralyzed. Just as a praticularily large goat almost speared Harry in the chest with his long horns, there was a blinding flash of pink light, and Harry woke, sweating again.   
  
The pink light had been real. Harry let out a cry of surprise.   
  
"Ron! What in the world are you doing here?"   
  
For Ron was standing over Harry's bed, his wand shining pink brightly in Harry's face.  
  
Harry raised his hands over his face to shield the blindingly bright light, and Ron lowered his wand.   
  
"Ron?" Ron said, bewildered, and looked over his shoulder to see who Harry was talking to. "Oh, is that me? I don't know what I'm doing here. All I remember is a bunch of blue light..what happened?"   
  
"I don't know. Are you okay?" Harry asked, peering at his friend anxiously from under his black bangs.   
  
"Yes, it is a lovely afternoon. Would you care for some wizarding chess? Or perhaps gobstones?"   
  
Harry didn't answer. He merely stared.   
  
"What is your name? I really hope that my brother- what's his name- can't remember- doesn't turn my teddy bear into a spider again. I didn't like it at all." Ron shuddered, and then, his head lolled over onto his shoulder and he fell asleep, standing up. Harry sat there for a moment, not knowing what he should do, and then he stood up and dragged Ron onto his bed by the scruff of his shirt. Ron didn't even wake; he seemed fast asleep.   
  
Just then, there was a loud roar outside, and Harry jumped four feet in the air. He got up and peered out his window anxiously. Then, he gasped in surprise.   
  
"Sirius! What are you doing here? What are you riding, how did you get it, and what are you wearing?" Harry stormed at his godfather with this line of questions. It took a moment for the full impact of what Harry was seeing to hit him. For Sirius, riding atop a giant motorbike,was wearing long, white robes, a bible sticking out his pocket, and a golden cross around his neck, shimmering in the light of the lamp-posts of Number Four. There were several bumper-stickers on his vehicle, reading thins such as "I love Jesus", "God is the ONLY way," and "The way to communicate with God is Knee-Mail."   
  
"What?" Sirius said, following Harry's eyes to his cross dangling around his neck."Oh, this? Well, I've decided that following God is the only way. We're all in danger, and if we believe in him, all will be well. He told me tonight that I was to come and get you, and take you to my house. Come on then, on my bike, hurry."   
  
Harry continued to stare. "Er- can we take Ron, too? He's here, but he's er...out of it..."   
  
"Of course. Bring him here. We'll pray before we go, to ensure a safe journey home."   
  
Sirius stepped through the window, took Harry's hands, and bowed his head solemnly, then muttered a pray of safety. Then, he helped Harry position Ron on his bike, then Harry, and they set off into the moonlight, and watched it disappear behind the gray clouds.  
  
The night air whipped Harry's hair, making it even untidier than it really was. The bike was uncomfortable, as the three boys were squished together, and Harry had to hold Ron upright by the collar of his scarlet sweater.   
  
Surprisingly, it wasn't long before they reached, assumingly, Sirius's home. Actually, it was Lupin's. The bike landed on the wet ground with a thud, and, with relief, Harry stepped off with Sirius. Lupin was staring out the window, and he jumped to meet them when they landed.   
  
Only it wasn't the Lupin as Harry had remembered. He was wearing tye-dyed robes, sunglasses, and beads around his neck, along with a glow-stick.   
  
"Dudes! You feelin' groovey? I am! And, rememba, I'm Lupes, now, not Lupin. Lupin's gay.."   
  
Harry closed his eyes, and then opened them again. He couldn't quite believe what was reaching his eyes and ears. But Lupin remained as he was, a hippy, as some would call him.   
  
"Err, hi, Lupi-- I mean-- Lupes, was it? Well, Ron's out of it. I think he could do with some rest. Could you take him?" Harry said calmly, as though convinced that, if he behaved normally, they would, too. It didn't work.   
  
"Poor, cat, eh? I'll make 'im groovey again! Try some smokes, old guy!" Lupes said to Ron, brandishing a cigarette at him. Ron, still fast asleep, didn't blink. His closed eyes stared out blankly into the darkness, and his rising and falling hands didn't reach out.   
  
"Err- Ron's asleep, Lupes. And what do you think you're doing, giving him weed! He's bad enough already!"  
  
"Whatever, dude. C'mon, let's take him in, then," Lupes said, reaching under Ron's arm to help him up. Sirius took the other.  
  
  
  
"May God make him well again," Sirius said quietly as they carried him up the steps.   
  
Lupe's house was quite a shock. There was graffiti on the walls everywhere,which looked like, before, it had been a quite moderate home. A fireplace lay in one corner of the room, but it was hidden under a large heap of books, which looked suspiciously like bibles. A guitar rested on the side of a green and red -sprayed arm-chair, and a Grindylow in a purple tank swam behind it.   
  
"His name's Grindydude," Lupes said to Harry as they helped Ron into Sirius's room.   
  
In Sirius's room, just as his bike, there were posters of Jesus everywhere. On one corner of the room lay a collection of crosses, including bracelets and necklaces with WWJD. One poster perched on the ceiling above Sirius's bed read ,"Wake up in the sunshine and the glory of our Lord!," in front of a picture featuring Jesus standing in front of the rising red sun behind a mountain. On the other side of the room, there were jars upon jars labeled ,"Holy water".   
  
Sirius carried Ron over to a bed with WWJD sheets. Ron didn't even move; he continued to be fast asleep.  
  
Lupes took Harry to his room. In there, it was much different. The walls, just like the livingroom, were sprayed rainbow,and there was an orange armchair beside a bed with different colored sheets.   
  
"Welcome to my pad, dude. Make yourself at home!" Lupes said, showing Harry another bed, which was much the same as his own. Harry, tired from his busy night, sat down on the bed, which seemed fragile; it leaned under his weight. Just as he thought he would go to sleep, another figure appeared at his door. He was surprised to see that it was Hermione.   
  
"Hello, Harry! I see you've arrived. Strange place, isn't it? Well, we'd best go off to bed. Good night, then!" she said cheerfully, and walked off. Harry was relieved to see that she sounded normal. He settled off to bed, and was lucky that he didn't know how much different his friend was.  
  
Harry discovered what this was the next morning. He shuffled off to the table for breakfast to find Ron and Hermione already sitting there, next to Sirius and Lupin.   
  
"Harry! Hi. It turns out that Ron has amnesia...too bad. Oh well, it's about time you've met Cuddles!" Hermione said enthusiastically, holding out a green stuffed animal.   
  
"What in the world is Cuddles?" Harry said, bewildered, as he took a seat next to her.   
  
Hermione seemed mortally offended.   
  
"What do you mean, what is Cuddles? Cuddles is a who, not a what! And he's only the cutest Furby in the world! I went on a vacation to America, and I went to a place called Mcdonalds. It's a fast-food restaurunt. But I made the biggest and most important discovery of my life. I found Furbies!" Hermione said, hugging the stuffed animal close to her chest.   
  
"Isn't he just adorable, Harry? I have sixty seven Furbies now. They're in my room."   
  
"Er- whatever you say, Hermione," Harry said cautiously, picking up his spoon to begin on his breakfast (Honeynut Imperios). 


	2. Late For Hogwarts

Chapter Two:  
  
Harry had an interesting summer at Lupe's house. Well, "interesting" seemed like an understatement. It was mayhem. Lupes still acted like a hippy, Sirius was as holy as ever, Ron still was out of it, and Hermione never went anywhere without a Furby. It was a relief that he would finally be going to school that day, away from it all.   
  
The only thing that delayed them was Sirius.  
  
"It's Sunday, time to go to church!," He said cheerfully that morning.   
  
"But-- Sirius, I have to catch the Hogwarts Express at 11 o'clock! We'll never make it!"  
  
  
  
"We ARE going to church today! We'd be breaking one of the ten commandments if we didn't! Come on! What's more important, school, or God?" Sirius said, very firmly.   
  
He took Harry and Hermione by the arms, and Lupes an Ron followed. They climbed on top of his motorbike, which he had enlarged so it would fit them all, and they set off to church.   
  
A chorus sang from the middle of the sanctuary, and Sirius breathed in the air deeply. Harry sat with his arms folded, his eyes rolled up to the ceiling as though fascinated by it, as the ceremony droned on. It was only when he happened to glance at his watch when he panicked.   
  
"Sirius! It's fifteen past eleven! The train left!"   
  
"Oh well, we'll ride there. And don't interupt the song of God! This is very important!" Sirius said, sounding mortally offended.   
  
Harry slumped back into his pew impatiently, and waited for the service to end.  
  
Finally, when the ceremony seemed as though it would never end, it did. They were about to leave when--   
  
"Oh no! I've lost Cuddles! I have to find him, help me!," Hermione said shrilly.   
  
Harry sighed with exasperation, then stooped down to help Hermione search under the pews for her Furby.   
  
"There's no time, Herms. The kiddies have to go to school, now! C'mon," Lupes said, looking extremely out of place in his rainbow robes, as he took Harry and Hermione's arms and dragged them out.   
  
"Noo!" Hermione wailed," I HAVE to find Cuddles! OFF OF ME!" And with great effort, she broke free.   
  
She rummaged on the floor, searching frantically. Just then, a cold voice drawled behind her.   
  
"Looking for something, dearest child? Searching for an object, never found, and to no avail? For, behold, I am of joy! I have found my soul-mate, this dearest warm friend, a Furby!" said Draco Malfoy, holding Cuddles tightly under his arm.   
  
"GIVE ME CUDDLES, NOOOOOOOOOOW, YOU BASTARD!!!" Hermione said, drawing her wand and summoning Cuddles securely into her waiting hands.   
  
She ran away, holding the Furby as though like a young child.   
  
"No, dear girl! It is my discovery! I found the creature on the floor, abandoned, forgotten, and waiting for me to take it in my waiting arms! It is fate! Give it here!" Draco insisted.  
  
Hermione ignored the boy in despair, and turned on her heel to join Harry, Ron, Lupes and Sirius on the motorbike. Sirius reluctantly kicked off from the ground, muttering ," Lord, I will come and visit you in your house next week. Good-bye, for now."  
  
  
  
They stopped off at Lupes's house and collected their things for school, then quickly set off for Hogwarts. They sailed high in the sky on the motorbike, unseen in the misty clouds. Harry was reminded strongly of the incident where he and Ron had rode to school on Ron's Ford Anglia. Just then, Hermione let out a scream that pierced through the silent sky like a gunshot.   
  
"What is it, Hermione?" Harry asked anxiously.   
  
"I've left Cutie at Lupes's house! We have to turn around and get him, NOW!"   
  
"But, Hermione, we're already late, we have to get to school-" Harry was suddenly silent. Hermione was pointing her wand at his face, looking very dangerous indeed.   
  
"We will turn around, now, or Harry gets it," Hermione said in a dangerously quiet voice that they had never heard before.   
  
"No, do not show violence in the presence of our Lord! Very well, we shall turn back and get your Furby, but do hurry up!" Sirius said anxiously.   
  
Lupes turned the bike around, muttering ," The chick's gone nuts.."   
  
Harry remained utterly still, trembling. Hermione still had her wand set on his face, looking determined and dangerous.  
  
Once the party had finally returned to the sky (Sirius had left behind his favorite WWJD necklace) it was already turning dark.   
  
"Where we going?" Ron asked vaguely, peering through the clouds over the roar of the engine.   
  
"To Hogwarts, duh. And I think all of my Furbies'll like it there! I want to make them their own little room," Hermione said brightly. She seemed perfectly cheerful whenever she had her Furbies, but lethal without them.   
  
Harry shook his head, and wondered how his perfect (or almost) world could go so wrong. He would even go back to the Dursleys if everyone would behave properly, and that was saying something. Finally, the motorbike arrived smoothly on the grass, and Sirius turned into a big white bird for his disguise.   
  
"Sirius, I thought you were a dog!" Harry said.   
  
"Well, I got tired of having a dog for my disguise. Birds rock! Especially doves, as they are a sign of peace from the Lord."   
  
Harry thought very dark thoughts, which the author will not include in this story.  
  
Lupes took the three up to the castle, where Mcgonagall was waiting.   
  
Professor Mcgonagall was wearing rainbow robes, too, along with a peace necklace, sunglasses, and leather shoes.   
  
"Oh no," Harry groaned.   
  
"Wow, foxy chick! Want to go out with me, babe?" Lupes said admiringly as his eyes fell upon her.   
  
"Sure, cat! Ya'll are excused fer bein' late an' all...I can see why you were delayed," Professor Mcgonagall said mischieviously, her eyes on Lupes.   
  
Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked away nervously from the scene and through the doors.  
  
It was as thought an explosion had taken place in the Great Hall. Harry pushed open the wooden doors, and the sight that he saw made him blink and open his eyes again.   
  
For, as far as Harry could see, everyone was standing on their tables, screaming at the stage in front of them.   
  
"Smashmouth! N*sync! Britney! WHOOOOOO!!" were some of the words that he heard. Harry examined the platform closer, and saw that several musical groups were standing, waving cheerfully at the school.   
  
"What's happened to Dumbledore? The school is in ruins! Cuddles, Cutie, Furball, Fluffy, Minty, Sapphy, Spikers, Blinky, and Speedy won't like this at all!!" Hermione wailed, clutching several Furbies close to her chest.   
  
"Wow! I didn't know Hogwarts was this cool!" Ron said admiringly as he looked the room up and down.   
  
Harry took a seat at the Gryffindor table, which was labeled Gwiffendoor, next to Ron and Hermione. They were one of few people who were sitting down at all.   
  
"Dude, man, I'm so think I can't drunk straight!" said a first year boy who Harry didn't know.   
  
Just then, they saw Dumbledore for the first time. Harry did a double-take.  
  
For Dumbledore, not dressed in his usual robes,but was dressed in black leather pants, boots, and a shirt.   
  
"I am the One! Harry, look out for the agents! They are fast, strong, and show no mercy! Do you have your gun?" Dumbledore said, drawing out his own.  
  
  
  
"Err--no," Harry said nervously.   
  
No, not Dumbledore, too..., he thought.   
  
Just then, Professor Mcgonagall walked up to the front of the school, hand-in-hand with Lupes.   
  
"I have the *hic* great pleasure of *hic* telling you about *hic* the updated quidditch teams *hic* this year. For Slytherin, *hic* The captain will be Ricky *hic* Martin, the seeker will be *hic* Will Smith, the beaters will be *hic* Jennifer Lopez and *hic* Nelly, and the chasers will be *hic* 98 Degrees. For Hufflepuff,*hic* there will be Vitamin C as *hic* seeker, Aaron Carter as Keeper,*hic* Eminem and Britney Spears as beaters...." she went on and on, naming American singers and pop stars. Finally she ended with a " Thank you *hic*, all!" and sat down.   
  
Harry glared at her. He was kicked off the Quidditch team! And all for a bunch of bands! It was crazy!   
  
Harry went off to bed, feeling very depressed indeed. Just then, Hermione came skidding down the corridor, smiling broadly.   
  
"Dumbledore said I could get a room all to my Furbies! They'll love it!"  
  
Harry shook his head, plopped down in front of a chair in front of the Gryffindor fire, and sunk his face into his hands. About 5 minutes later, he turned and headed upstairs. When he arrived in his room, he blinked and re-focused his eyes. The beds were stripped bare, along with the curtain hangings, down to the mattress.   
  
"What happened!?" He asked Ron, who was standing right next to him, looking just as bewildered, and then he suddenly frowned.   
  
"Percy doesn't like his friend anymore. That's not nice."   
  
"Wha--oh, right." Harry said, remembering. He sank into his bare bed, shivering. He fell into an uneasy, cold sleep, still in his robes.  
  
Harry woke to an angry buzz that night, not long after he had fallen asleep.   
  
"What's happened to the sheets! They're all gone!"   
  
"No idea.."   
  
Harry sat up, fumbled for his glasses, and stood up, yawning. Dean Thomas and Neville were talking in the corner of the room. Neville was wearing long, extravagant robes of silk, and he was grinning.   
  
"Oh, Hi, Harry! My Grandma won the lottery! We're rich! Whoo!"  
  
  
  
"Wow, that's good for you, Neville!"   
  
Harry said, thinking about seeing Hermione to see if she knew anything about the bedsheets.   
  
He turned around, and pushed open the doors, searching for the girls' dormitory. A sign caught his eye, and he paced up the staircase, searching for Hermione's door. He found it, and pulled it open.   
  
"Hermione!" Harry gasped.   
  
Hermione was crouched over her bed, which was hidden under a mountain of bedsheets, pillows, hangings, and blankets.   
  
"Here you go, Cuddles," Hermione said, pulling a blanket up to the stuffed animal's chin, lying its head tenderly on a pillow.   
  
"Hermione, those are OUR blankets, not the Furbys'!Give them back, we're all cold!"   
  
"No, the Furbys need them more than you do. I will sleep on the floor, whatever it takes, as long as the FUrbys are safe and warm." Hermione said lovingly, stroking a purple one's head.   
  
"Hermione, they're stuffed animals, for crying out loud! We are living, breathing people!"   
  
"WHAT!!!??" Hermione cried in outrage. "They're not things! They're not stuffed animals! They're poor little creatures who need our help! I have never been more insulted in my life! And you probably hurt the Furbys' feelings too, didn't you?" Hermione said, stooping down so that her head was right next to a Furby's.  
  
Before Hermione could make another move, Harry dashed over to the bed, pulled off all the blankets, and ran away as fast as he could. The Furbies all fell to the floor with a clatter (sixty seven of them) and Hermione wailed.   
  
"NNOOOO!!! GIVE THE FURBIES THEIR BLANKETS!! THEY'LL FREEZE TO DEATH!!" Hermione chased after Harry. Harry ran around the dormitories, distrubuting the missing sheets and blankets. Once everyone had them, Harry settled down in bed once again, Hermione screaming and wailing outside his door. 


	3. Gryffindor versus Slytherin musical styl...

Chapter 3:  
  
The next day was a Quidditch match: Gryffindor and Slytherin. Harry woke up, got dressed, and open the door. Fast asleep, leaning against his door, holding as many Furbies as she could, the rest piled around her, was Hermione.   
  
Harry shook his head, stepped over her, and headed down to the great hall for breakfast, which was buzzing.   
  
"I bet Enya'll make a great seeker today!"   
  
"Nah, Smashmouth is bigger, and they're more able to throw her off-"   
  
"What are you talking about? Britney's the best!"   
  
"Ewww, Britney Spears?" (gagging noises).   
  
Harry sat down to start on his scrambled eggs. He glanced at the message board, and saw a note:   
  
One day upon a disasterous night, my furby friend did flight. I searched for him near and far, even in my fatehr's car! I've met a fallen angel in the sky, the furby did make my heart go fly. So if you see him, let me know, or forever more my heart will throw.  
  
Harry snorted. Draco Malfoy, he thought.  
  
Harry and Ron headed up to the stands to watch the Quidditch match (Hermione was still fast asleep). Soon, students were filing in, and the seats were full. Just before Lee Jordan was about to announce the teams, there was a loud screeching sound on the ground. Everyone looked down. Hermione, looking very happy and determined, was dragging behind her a wagon, full of---furbies.  
  
Noo Harry groaned. Smiling broadly, Hermione took a seat next to them, whistling cheerfully.  
  
Then, Lee Jordan finally announced the teams. Fourteen broomsticks, mounting fourteen musical artists, wobbled into the air.  
  
As the Smashmouth players whizzed by Harry's chair he heard:   
  
"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, get paid! All that glimmers is gold....."  
  
  
  
"Hey, what was my position again? Can't remember for the life of me what I was supposed to do.."   
  
It was a Quidditch match as Harry had never seen it played before. The singers wouldn't shut up, and they seemed to be arguing over who liked them the best.   
  
Just then, Will Smith, the Slythterin Seeker, gasped.   
  
"Nod your head! The Men In Black.......have seen the stitch!"   
  
"It's the snitch, Will, not the Stitch!"   
  
"Whatever! What am I supposed to do with it again?"   
  
"Catch it!"   
  
"Oh--right!"   
  
Will dived at the same time as the Smashmouth seeker did. They were close on eachother's tail, when--   
  
The Smashmouth player toppled off his broom. He was an unexperienced flyer. With triumph, Will reached for the stitch, or snitch, and grasped the struggling ball in the palm of his hand.   
  
Loud cheers erupted from the Slytherin side of the field.  
  
  
  
"Nooo," Harry groaned again.  
  
"Slytherin has won! The students have all sung! Will Smith rocks, he kicked the box, gooooo Slytherin!" Malfoy said brightly, pulling out a notebook and pencil to write this new poem down.   
  
"How could they let this happen?" Harry groaned to Ron. Ron smiled blankly at him and said,"An apple a day keeps the doctor away," matter-of-factly.   
  
"Okaay." Harry said, feeling depressed more than ever.   
  
"We have potions today..grr," Harry said, glancing down at his schedule, and rising with the rest of the audience to get to their classes.   
  
I'd even be happy if SNAPE was normal!, Harry thought to himself. He was proven wrong right after he pushed open the dungeon door.  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
As Harry pushed open the doors of Snape's dungeon, the sight he saw made him gasp. Snape was sitting at the head of the class--wearing a green, moth-eaten dress, complete with a stuffed-vulture top hat. And as he glanced around his room, Harry saw posters. They read things like "More Rights for Women!" and "Martha Stewart Forever!".  
  
Hermione, with Cuddles under her arm,burst out laughing.   
  
"50 points for Griffindor!," Snape cried across the room," I've never heard such a cute, feminine laugh in all of my life!"   
  
"Err--okay," Harry said, confused. He believed that nothing could surprise him now.   
  
Just then, there was a loud roaring outside. The door burst open, and Colin Creevey, mounted atop a black motorcycle. He was wearing a tight black leather shirt and pants. That wasn't all: he had a fang earing dangling from one ear, and a skull tattoo on his shoulder, open to the world to see because his shirt was sleeveless. He was followed by his younger brother, Dennis, Fred and George Weasley, Dean Thomas, and Seamus Finnigan. Each of them had a girl in their backseats: Cho Chang, Alicia Keys (oops, I meant Spinnet, sorry!), Angelina Johnson, Ginny Weasley, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown. They rode in, and did a pop-wheelie onto the desks, splattering potions all over.   
  
"Hey, how's my Motorcycle Mama?," Colin asked Cho Chang over the roar of the engine.   
  
Just then, before she could answer, Snape strode across the room, and smashed a potion bottle over his head, causing it to spill and soak his hair. It turned a violent shade of neon green.   
  
"You NEVER use politically incorrect terms in my classroom!" Snape snarled.   
  
Colin shrugged, and then glanced at a reflection of himself in a potion bottle.   
  
"Dude, I love it! Thanks, man!" Colin said gratefully.  
  
The rest of Snape's class was much the same. Finally, when it was over, Harry set off to Hagrid's to get some relief from the crazy world. Unfortunately, he found another big surprise.   
  
Harry knocked on the door, and waited, his eyes closed tight. Please, not Hagrid, not him too, he prayed. Hagrid pushed open the doors, and to Harry's great relief, he looked quite normal (for Hagrid, that was). Then, as soon as Harry was inside, Hagrid sat down at his table, not saying a word.   
  
He pulled a laptop off of the table, and balanced it on one knee, since it was too small to fit on both. He resumed his internet browsing, and left Harry standing there, waiting silently.  
  
  
  
"Oh! Yer here!I have a laptop,and it is soo ruddy great! Want ter see?" Hagrid said, pushing it aside so Harry could see. And, to his VERY great surprise, he discovered that Hagrid was browsing through Fanfiction.net! Then, something made his insides turn. He was, in fact, reading this very story that the author was writing right now! 


	4. Lawn Geese, Pink Flamingos, and Yard Gno...

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.   
  
A/N: Thanks a bunch to my first reviewer ever, ShadowElfBard. You're the best! Yes, Furbies really are evil, aren't they? Better not tell Hermione, though.  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
Harry trudged from Hagrid's cabin. The story on Fanfiction.net had only been updated to chapter 3, so he couldn't see what happened next. He suddenly fell face first on the ground. He had tripped over a plastic yard flamingo.  
  
Harry raised his wand and cursed the flamingo into pieces for getting in his way. He was not at peace with the world for the moment.  
  
He got to his feet again, watching the forest. He thought he had seen something move, but he wasn't sure. Suddenly a shape lunged at him. It was Firenze, the centaur.   
  
  
  
"MWAHAH! I'M GOING TO KEEEEEL YOU, HARRYYY!!!"  
  
"But you're supposed to be a good character! You're not supposed to kill me!" Harry protested.  
  
Firenze halted in his tracks. He frowned thoughtfully for a moment. "Oh, yeah, I remember now. Sorry," he said, and went back into the forest. Harry shook his head.  
  
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!" He cried, raising his head to the heavens in defeat.  
  
"What's wrong with this world is that there are still unrespected women out there!" Snape replied, walking past him. Harry stared at him.  
  
Neville strode past, in elegant silk dress robes that reflected the moonlight.  
  
"Er-- Neville, why are you wearing dress robes?"  
  
"Cause I'm rich, now, Harry! I can do whatever I want!"  
  
"Ok."  
  
Suddenly he was grabbed by behind. "Where. Are. My. Furbies." Hermione said in a dangerous voice, once again holding him at wand point.  
  
"Hermione! I don't know! Really, I swear!" Harry cried.  
  
"You lie. WHERE ARE THEY?"  
  
"I told you, I don't know!"  
  
" Hey girl? Looking for Earl? He's here, right next to my ear! Take him away, if you can get past my sway, surrender the fight, if it could be plight,' a voice taunted ahead. It was none other than the rhyming Draco Malfoy.  
  
"YOUUUUUU!!!" Hermione screamed, holding her wand out as she chased after him.  
  
Harry walked up to the Great Hall, rubbing his arms from where Hermione had grabbed them, and massaging his sore legs where he had tripped over yet two more plastic pink flamingos.  
  
Harry was famished. He wanted something to eat. He sat down at the table of the Great Hall, and was delighted to see turkey and berries on the plates. He had to get past a close inspection by Dumbledore, though, who truly suspected him to be an agent in disguise.  
  
  
  
Just as Harry was reaching for a berry, A black shape strode past an snatched it. He scooped up all the berries and turkey legs from the tables. "I'm going to use these for the latest Martha Stewart decorating project I saw...Play with your food!" Snape muttered as he walked by the 5 tables.   
  
Harry protested. "But, sir, I'm hungry."  
  
"SILENCE! 30 points from Hufflepuff!"  
  
"But I'm in Gryffindor."  
  
"I said, SILENCE! That's 30 more points from Hufflepuff, Potter!"  
  
Harry sighed. He turned to what was left of the turkey and tried to enjoy it. Ron vaguely commented on batteries beside him.  
  
* * *  
  
The next day, when Harry was trying to get out of the common room, the portrait of the Fat Lady wouldn't budge. No one could figure out why.  
  
It was a good thing Harry still had his broom. He took turns passing it to the students to fly down to Herbology class out of the windows, which they had first.  
  
Professor Sprout didn't look up from her sewing. She was sewing a maroon sweater. "Oh, come here, dearies, " she said as she saw her class.  
  
"Today I'm going to teach you how to sew. You never know when you might need it." Much to the protest of the students, they learned how to sew. Many complained as they were pricked with the needles.  
  
"Now, now children. Don't forget that haste makes waste!" They nodded.  
  
After Herbology was over, Harry began to walk up to Charms class. Several times he and the other students tripped over heaps of lawn gnomes, dressed geese, and more plastic pink flamingos.  
  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS UP WITH THESE?" Seamus swore after he tripped for the 16th time. When they reached the Charms door, they discovered that it, too, was blocked.Just as the students were about to turn back, the door was forced open a crack, and Professor Flitwick's tiny face peered in.  
  
"Oh,hello students. Just go ahead and squeeze through this crack here, we're a bit short on room in here."  
  
Harry dreaded what he would find. He almost fainted when he did. As he squeezed into the room, he discovered that it was piled to the ceiling with none other than plastic flamingos, yard geese and lawn gnomes.  
  
A/N: Sorry fornot leaving a disclaimer in the past two chapters. I'm going to do that from now on. Let's just say that they're there now, shall we? 


	5. Llama Emperors and Engagement Rings

Disclaimer: Connect the object with its owner:  
  
Harry Potter --------------------------------------------------------) J.K. Rowling  
  
A stack of homework someone should be doing----------) Me  
  
Author Notes: Well, hey! Whadd'ya know? I updated! I haven't completely disappeared, ya know. Enjoy the next installment from the wonderful world of Harry Potter, brought to you by me!  
  
All Started With a Dream- Chapter 5  
  
When Harry had finally gained a grip on his conscious, he shoved his way into the room past the lawn geese and flamingos. The entire class crammed in a corner, and Harry was smashed next to Ginny, who was in his fifth year class for reasons he did not know.   
  
When Harry realized that the entire lesson would be on the method of gardening and how to create welcoming, decorative lawn environments, he decided to take up a conversation with Ginny instead.  
  
"So, what's the deal with you becoming a biker girl and all?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because my boyfriend was one. But we broke up."  
  
"Don't tell me... you mean you're normal now? I'm not the only one?"  
  
"I guess you could say that. And you're right, I have to admit. The school has been acting a bit strange, hasn't it? Dumbledore won't let anyone enter the school in between classes without a close inspection in case of agents."  
  
"Tell me about it. I couldn't get away from him.. and Snape..."  
  
Ginny giggled. "Did you see his new poster?"  
  
"I don't even want to know.."  
  
She smiled. "So Harry, do you want to go out with me?" she asked casually.  
  
'Er..." Harry stared, surprised. Ginny had gotten bolder since first year.. "Why not?" he finally said, grinning. The world was wrong for everyone else, so why shouldn't he join the club?  
  
Ginny grinned, too. "So I guess we're loners, then. The only normal ones here."  
  
"Yeah... and I heard rumors about Neville building a spa lounge next to the Quidditch pitch with his new lotto money. Want to go check it out?"  
  
"Sure!" Ginny said.  
  
"Ok, well first we need to distract Flitwick. That's easy enough.. Why don't you go say something about seeing an attractive garden outside, and we'll make a break for it?"  
  
"Anything for you," she smiled, and pushed over to the window. "Oh my!" she said loudly. "Look at that lovely garden outside, Flitwick!"  
  
Flitwick looked up. "........Garden?" he asked dreamily. Then he got up and bolted for the door (as best he could with the lawn decorations) and left.  
  
Harry and Ginny gave eachother a high five, and headed the other way out the classroom. As they were walking past the grounds in front of the school, they spotted Ron wandering aimlessly, muttering something about a gold rush.  
  
They finally found the rumored spa lounge, and prepared to spend the rest of the day skipping their classes.  
  
***  
  
No one really knew how it happened, but when Harry and Ginny emerged from the spa lounge, Ginny proudly bore an engagement ring for all to see. They were both too drunk to walk, and resulted in stumbling across the Quidditch Pitch. They finally fell to the ground, laughing too hard to stand. They fell asleep not too long after on the grass, and wouldn't be found until the next day, by none other than the Dark Lord himself.  
  
"Aww, man!" Voldemort cursed as he tripped over the two limp bodies on the ground. "What's up with that, now?"   
  
Harry and Ginny slowly sat up, both blinking dully. "Bloody, what a hangover," Harry muttered.  
  
"Oooh, Harry, look it's an evil dark lord.." Ginny pointed and giggled.  
  
"Oh, yeah.. hey!" Harry said getting up to shake hands with him.  
  
"First of all, I'm not an evil dark lord, and NO TOUCHIES. Touchies? Me? No. Cusco doesn't do touchies."  
  
  
  
"Cusco?" Harry asked, puzzled.  
  
He sighed. "Yeah, long story. Anyway, I'm in a tough spot here. See, some woman trying to overthrow my throne transformed me into a llama, even though I'm an emperor. So I was kinda wondering if one of you magic...people? Witches, Wizards, whatever, could change me back?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "Sorry, mate. Don't know the spell for it. You have to go to someone else. How about you, Ginny?"  
  
"Not a clue." Ginny said apologetically.  
  
"All right, thanks anyway. And if you see some peasant farmer dude trying to follow me, get rid of him, ok?"  
  
Harry gave him the thumbs up. "Anytime."  
  
Voldemort/Cusco walked away, heading toward the school. Ginny and Harry got up and began walking away in the other direction, discussing wedding plans.  
  
Just as they were entering the Forbidden Forest, Harry's hangover started to wear off, and he fainted in Ginny's arms. 


End file.
